i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
