Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize