he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
