Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
