babies were throwing up all over the place
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
