it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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