i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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