you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
