Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
