I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
