remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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