Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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