Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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