I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
