If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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