Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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