we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
