So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
