We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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