We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
