dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
