hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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