Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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