im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
