So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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