OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
