i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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