I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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