I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
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