Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
