How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
