Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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