wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
