That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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