this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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