my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
