Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
