Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
