I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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