Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
