I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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