i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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