is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he was CRYING into my vagina
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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