glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
