Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
soo... how was my night?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
