I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
