he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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