I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
