Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
