For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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