I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
