sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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