Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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