just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
