Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
