This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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