Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
