Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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