Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
