stop calling my apartment porn island.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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