What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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