sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Me. At least after what I've been through.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize