I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize