Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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