BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize