Is it because I queefed?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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