we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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