Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
