just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize