If that was your dad, he is hot
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
