your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
