I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
be right there i have to get my cape
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
