The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
