I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Randomize
